In the beginning...

Okay, here's the news. Westulaks is out. The Gassy Dream Weaver is in. Here's the beginning-

~ CHAPTER IIIIIIIIIIIIV (or -7) ~

In the beginning, there was a lot of soup. In fact, the whole universe was soup. But the soup was starchy and bland, and it kept on making these funny-smelling gas bubbles. And one bubble touched another, and together they reacted to form a new gas element: Lordium II. And the bubble had a mind, a will, a consciousness. And the bubble became the Gassy Dream Weaver. He thought that the soup should disappear, and it did. And He was pleased.
He filled part of the void with a planet of rock, and He was pleased. He thought it would be fun to make little things that lived on the planet, and He did. They were small, fluffy creatures. And He watched them do things. But soon the creatures started to die of starvation, so He created plants and plankton (because, He reasoned, everything eats plankton). The plankton died, because He had forgotten to make any oceans, but the plants thrived. The fluffy creatures ate the plants and grew larger, and the Gassy Dream Weaver was pleased.
Many years passed, and He watched the fluffy creatures grew and changed, and He watched as the plants grew and changed. Soon there were fluffy creatures and feathered creatures, and plants that ate them (because they had grown tired of being eaten). But the Gassy Dream Weaver was not happy. He was bored. And so He decide to create dinosaurs (which He had seen a picture of in a magazine, and he thought looked pretty cool). And the dinosaurs were created, and they were very cool. They stomped around the planet and killed lots of the fluffy creatures and feathered animals and plants that ate things.
But He was not pleased by this, and so he made a big rock and sent it towards the planet, and it killed everything except for two fluffy creatures and two feathered creatures and one tree. And He made this tree sacred, and told the fluffy creatures and feathered creatures not to touch it, and that it was as a reminder of how everything must suit Him, or He would get pouty and kill of their races. The fluffy creatures and feathered creatures didn't understand him, though, because they didn't speak Gassy Dream Weaver-ish, or any other language.